Jaye Wells’ Sabina Kane series is excellent urban fantasy focusing on our favorite supernatural: a vampire. And as much as we’ve fallen in love with Sabina in Red-Headed Stepchild and The Mage in Black, we’ve also found we have a soft spot for that demonic, mischevious sidekick of hers Giguhl.
As Vampire Book Club is all sorts of antsy for the Feb. 22, 2011, release of Green-Eyed Demon (psst! pre-order here, folks), we decided to let Giguhl take over the blog for a day. Prepare for inappropriate holiday humor — because we both know you love it.
GIGUHL’S HOLIDAY HOLLAH!
This year I decided to do something a little different. Instead of sending you all gifts, I decided to send you a letter. Isn’t that awesome? I mean in this digital age who actually sits down and takes the time to write a heartfelt missive? Besides, this way I can tell you what gifts to buy me.
Here’s the thing, apparently you people celebrate all sorts of crazy holidays this time of year. I asked Sabina if we celebrated Christmas and she gave me “The Look.”
“Giguhl,” she said, “I’m a vampire. You’re a demon. We don’t do Jesus. ”
“But what about this Hanukah I keep hearing about? Can we at least play spin the dreidl? I’ve been trying to get that hot new nymph at Slade’s club alone in a closet for weeks.”
Sabina blew out a martyred sigh. “You’re thinking of spin the bottle. And no, we don’t do Hanukah either. Or Kwanzaa or Ramadan.”
Adam raised his hand. “I’m a mage, so I celebrate the Winter Solstice.”
“Does that one involve gifts?” I asked.
“No.” He frowned. “But there are fertility rights.”
“Really? Do I get to bang hot magical chicks?”
Adam shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
As you can see, my friends, I am in desperate need of your help. Sabina and Adam are the two most boring-assed beings on the planet. Plus they’re far more interested in trying to pretend they don’t wan to bone the hell out of each other to consider my needs. And I have many needs.
This is where you come in. Below, you will find my Chrishannakwanstice list. I know times are tough and there’s a recession and all, but I am sorely in need of your holiday cheer. So help a demon out and get to shopping!
Giguhl’s Epic List of Holiday Needs!
Well, my friends, that’s my humble list of basic needs. I think you’ll agree that I did you a favor by listing only the barest of necessities. Plus, I’ve been an exceptionally good demon this year. I’ve barely watched any porn and I totally helped Sabina save the world. So, you know, get shopping.